
This is Terminator T1000. While he wears aviators, he also wears a motorcycle helmet. That's how you can tell he's not me.
If you’re a subscriber to Triathlete Magazine, please don’t be fooled by the new May cover photo. While at first glance it looks like Terminator T1000 is making his professional triathlon debut, it’s actually just a picture of me in my Aviators.
That’s right, I’m on the cover of Triathlete Magazine! Can someone please give me a Shakalaka to go with my Boom!?!?
It’s humbling to say the least, (and also a little embarrassing to be honest) but I’m super thankful and excited for the opportunity. I want to first and foremost thank all the people – my wife, my family, my sponsors, my coach, the Triathlete Magazine staff, and of course my loony, scream/crying, pitchfork wielding, synchronized chanting, crazy ass twitter/facebook/newsletter fans – that support me. My jumbled words can not adequately express how valuable your support has been. THANK YOU!!!!

This one's me, no motorcycle helmet.
How it Happened – A Cosmic Confluence of Events:
For the past few months I’ve written a column for Triathlete Magazine called The Triathlife. It has been an absolute blast. My editor, Jene Shaw, does a fantastic job taking my rubbish – usually post deadline – and putting it into a readable format. Throughout the process, I’ve gotten to know her and a few others in the Triathlete staff.
In January, I got a call from Julia Polloreno, the Editor in Chief, who said that 1) they were doing a May issue special on Wildflower’s 30th Anniversary, that 2) they wanted a running cover, and that 3) since I was the Wildflower returning champ and 4) a runner and 5) Jene said I wasn’t a complete a-hole…they wanted to take some pics of me. IF it went well (big if) they would use one of them for a cover. So we set a date for the shoot and waited to see what happened.

Julia's email confirming the shoot, and confirming I bring my Aviators.
Special Shout Out Sub-Section: I honestly don’t know how much this did or didn’t plant a seed in their head, but I have to give a shout out to my buddy Neil who replied to a tweet from Julia and recommended me. Thanks Neil, I owe you some Picky Bars dude!

One of my crazy ass fans making it happen, booyah!
The Shoot – Dance Monkey Dance:

Nils (left) is not only a great photographer, he also looks EXACTLY like my little brother Darren (right). Way to go Nils!
As much as Lauren says I like to be the center of attention, having someone up in my grill taking pictures for 8 hours did not come naturally. Triathlete Magazine’s Photo Editor, Nils Nilsen, was a true pro though, and honestly made me feel as comfortable as I possibly could have been.
We started in the studio. After a few hours of makeup and hair (just kidding, but my hair needed constant attention, such a primadonna) Nils took about 20,000 pictures of me doing all kinds of random stuff. He asked me to try different looks, poses, turns, jumps, barks, whatever came to me. I, of course, had absolutely nothing. Like Zoolander, I also have one look, but it’s less Blue Steel and more Confused Pumpkin. Of the 20,000 he took over a few hours, they found a couple that were decent. Then we all grabbed lunch and moved on to the outside portion.

After a lot of awkward shots, Nils said, "Ok, let's try this. Put your glasses down, and look over the top of them." Then he took this picture. Then he said, "Ok, let's not do that anymore."
We went to this incredible lake outside of the city. Among the trails, hills, and water, I felt much more comfortable. All I had to do now was run, which I’ve done for a few years, and can do without always making weirdo-face. The only problem was it was literally 48 hours after my Panama half ironman, and OH MY GOD I was sore. Luckily, Nils only made me do like 3462 steep hill repeats. I honestly was about to kick a pine cone right into his lens after his 75th consecutive “one more.” At just after sunset, we packed up and cruised back.
It was impossible NOT to think of this clip the entire day.
The Results:
Needless to say, Nils nailed it, and everything worked out in the end. The staff was happy with the photos, and within a week or so, I got the nod that I would in fact be on the cover. Then a couple of weeks later, they decided that they liked the Aviator shot enough, that they would do a split cover. The running shot – literally one of the last shots of the day – would be on the news stands, and the Aviator shot would go out to all the subscribers. Freaking awesome!

The running cover that will be on news stands.
There is also a profile of me inside the magazine, and as of writing this, I honestly haven’t seen it yet! The girl who wrote it, Erin Beresini, was super cool to talk to, and graciously let me bore her to death with all my stories. She’s an incredible writer, so I’m sure it’s great, and I hope you guys like it! I also give some tips in there in my monthly column for anyone racing Wildflower at the beginning of May, so let me know what you think.
Thanks again to my wife, family, sponsors, coach, and absolutely ludicrous fans. I honestly can not thank you enough. I’m incredibly honored and humbled by your support throughout the years. It makes crazy things like this possible. Thank you so much!
Outtakes: A Select Few of the Terrible Poses for Your Viewing Pleasure

Nils kept telling me to turn my head more. Then I told him my neck was surgically fixed and that I couldn't turn it, kind of like a robot. Then I started doing the Robot. This is a fairly normal sequence of events for me.

I honestly can't remember if this was a joke, or I was actually trying to do something for real. Either way, it went horribly wrong.

Debate RAGED in my head about whether to include this one or not. I mean the douchey-ness is palpable, you can probably smell it through your computer screen. I'm so sorry.

There's the real Jesse.
Three questions:
1) Will you sign a magazine if I buy one a la your wife?
2) Did Picky Bars get a shout out in the gluten free article?
3) Can you teach me how to look like I’m running in running pics?
4) Where did you get your aviators.
Ok, fine that’s 4 questions. Whatever.
Congrats, Jesse!!! Too cool. You’re getting to the level of fame where you could be on Dancing With The Stars.
1. Yes
2. Haven’t seen the magazine yet, but hopefully.
3. Yes, I think this is doable.
4. Still walgreens, but there may be something on the horizon….
CONGRATULATIONS Jesse! Wow! So awesome! It’s been fun to follow your continuing progress. What great accomplishments!
Most excellent, mag covers seem to run in the Picky family. Lets work on getting Jenn on the cover of Energy Bar Digest.
She deserves it for sure. She WILL be the next big deal in Energy Bar business. MOGUL.
Dude, that is soooo awesome. For Neil’s birthday I bought him 4 different tri magazines and told him that he had to choose one and I would get him a subscription to the one of his choice. Needless to say, the split cover helped him choose.
I’m sending you guys Picky Bars for the wedding whether you like it or not!
Well deserved Mr. T. I’ll be heading to a newsstand today and I’ll need it signed at a later date.
ha ha, the douchey one is awesome!
Thought you guys would like that one.
This is well deserved Jesse. Congrats on hitting it big time and for never letting those tough racing days affect your motivation to excel.
Sweet, dude…congrats.
That is, quite possibly, the coolest running/tri/bike cover I’ve seen. The key is the aviators – T1000 lives. Can you do that whole liquid metal thing?
Ok, it’s official. I’ve never been a fan of anyone.. but, I’m a fan o you, Jesse Thomas. Great great, great and funny pics. The aviator cover – seriously..nice!! Congrats. Keep being real Jesse. Can’t wait to read the article.
Haha! Don’t worry, I’ll keep it real.
that last photo is your new i-am bio photo… just say’n
honestly not that much worse than the current Dylan photo.
OK, I’m going magazine hunting today. That’s awesome! Congrats!
Congrats Jesse! BTW, you’ve got more than one rabid fan pulling for you on twitter (https://twitter.com/#!/aschoks/status/161875151733014528)
See you at wildflower in a couple weeks!
Holy Mole! how’d I miss this one! Thanks Alex, I owe you some Picky Bars also!
i love the aviator cover. its fun and suits you.
Big year. It’s on. Congratulations.
While a lot of Matt Dixon’s athletes coach about triathlon, you and Linsey Corbin could coach on how to be super fun to support. It is so much fun to be a fan of yours! Your blog always rocks and gets updated often, your race reports are both hysterical and real, and you’re starting to get some amazing press which makes it even more fun. Thanks for providing quality entertainment and inspiration to all of us racing for fun and fitness. Congrats and enjoy the rest of your season, it’s off to a bang up start!
Thanks Susan, means a lot to be in the same league with Lins, she’s awesome and has been a huge help in my development also. Glad you enjoy the reading!
Ha! Love it man!
I LOVE it! The aviator cover is awesome and it’s crazy how much you look like T1000. And the running cover just makes you look like a stud. Excited to get a copy and read the article.
Very cool Jesse, and thanks for sharing some of the out-takes. Hilarious. Hope all is going well in Arizona!
YOU DA MAN!
“the douchey-ness is palpable, you can probably smell it through your computer screen” That was hilarious, I love that picture!!! Do you want to know how I became a fan? I subscribe to Runner’s World magazine, and I remember reading your wife’s article (she’s awesome too btw) and there was a note saying that her husband was a professional triathlete. At that time, I was just trying to get into the sport and I remember thinking that was pretty cool. So I goggled your name and came across your blog, I fell in love with it; so funny and entertaining. I’ve been a fan ever since and have been really impressed with you progress in the sport. What I really like about you is that you seem really humble and always thank your crazy fans (myself included); you seem really appreciative of all your success and don’t take anything for granted. I love your enthusiasm whenever you find new sponsors or do really good at a race. So, as long as you remain humble and thankful of your crazy fans, you will have one in me. Good luck in the rest of your season, I know I’ll be following closely. Thankfully I’m a subscriber and can’t wait to get my May’s issue J J Never lose the Aviators!!!
P.S. Picky Bars are hands down the best ever energy/recovery bar I’ve tried, and trust me I’ve tried many.
Thanks for the comment/compliment Layra, means a lot!. I’ll definitely stay humble and especially thankful for those crazy ass fans! The aviators are also here to stay, and so glad you’re enjoying Picky Bars! Booyah!
Hey Rock-Star..keep your feet grounded..might be tough with all this attention, however your aviators may help. Congrats!
i did not give you permission to use my photo. pshaw. whatever. stop getting third place… it kind of embarrasses the family.
I could have guessed that comment.
Well done, nephew! Where do I get a copy? You look as awesome as ever.
Aunt Irene
Everything about this is awesome. The second most awesome thing is the comment from your little brother. Classic.
It really is a classic Darren comment.
i’m speechless but i can feel my smile is up to my ears! BOOOM, Shakalaka!
Hey, I went to school with that guy (junior and high school, maybe some elementary?)! Congrats on all your hard work and success. Keep it up!
As my Guadalajara friends would say “Impresionante”! Way to go, Jesse. Very cool.
Haven’t seen you in awhile but congrats on the successes! Best wishes Jesse!
Chad & Kathy, blast from the past, great to hear from you guys & hope things are going well!
My coworkers are curious what I’m giggling about. This story is hilarious!
LOL. Jesse – This story is AMAZING. Nils did photoshoots for me when I worked at ElliptiGO and I can’t think of anyone else who’d I rather spend a day with while doing hill repeats. I’m so glad you had a blast with him too!
Awesome awesome awesome!!! Referring only to the incredible out takes of your modeling shoot.
Use these to prep for the next one…
http://www.wetpaint.com/jersey-shore/articles/angelina-and-the-situations-awkward-club-runin
http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9000000/Justin-Photoshoot-justin-bieber-9049028-455-270.jpg
(sidenote: pretty awesome google images results with any combination of “douchebag”, “aviators”, “Justin Bieber”)
Seriously congrats man!! Super excited for you!!
hey, just wanted to say how nice it was for you to come to speak at the Eugene marathon this weekend. thanks for the samples of Picky Bars. I like that you are still a real grounded person with your triathlon success. Appreicate you being a role model for the sport. good luck to you and bring Picky to San Franicsco soon please. You should meet Tyler Stewart sometime.
This year’s Jesse wears his own logo.
This year’s Jesse Wins his race.
This Year’s Jesse speaks all goofy and wild in the third person in the interviews.
WIN! WIN! WIN! Way to go Jesse!
Congrats Jesse, you killed it!! So awesome…!
My brother recommended I might like this blog.
He was totally right. This post truly made my day.
You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info!
Thanks!